Thursday, July 26, 2012

Black and White < 2

Well, we did not wake up to the pretty coloured email of congratulations.  We received the black and white version that was full of support and condolences for getting a negative.  :(
Sadly, this is the nature of IVF, it either works or it doesn't.  We know we had great chances with our surrogates and Dr Shivani, but this time it just did not work.  We thank the whole team at SCI for their efforts and giving us another shot to try an expand our family.  Just after the email I received a call from Dr Shivani to talk about it, and she was quite disappointed for us that not even one embryo stuck.  It is always great to talk with Dr Shivani and kinda spit ball ideas.  For now, this chapter is closed.

Friday, July 20, 2012


This tww feels oddly different.  I am not sure if it is because I am so busy with Cailyn in my life that she is a distraction, or do I not feel as intense of pressure this time as a result of having Cailyn.  Either way, we are well into our two week wait and counting down the days. I do have nightmares of 4 confirmed heartbeats, but the awake and rational side of me remembers Dr Shivanis words that at my age, we will be lucky to have one.  Her words are very comforting to us as we know the reality of the situation which is the best place to be in.
Just as a FYI, I had some pretty good looking embryos, and those of you who know Dr Shivani know that she would never sugar coat the quality of embryos.  So, I am assuming that these beauties were a result of the supplements I took for almost three months in advance.
Here is what I took:
A vegan based prenatal vitamin daily
A vegan based Alpha Lipoic acid supplement 300 units/ day
A vegan based CoQ10 at 600 units/day
DHEA 25mg , 3 times a day
Absolutely NO alcohol was consumed which I think is quite important (and I still have not had a drink yet..what is wrong with me..sheesh, looks like time for a gin and tonic this weekend)
And that is it, it definitely seemed to work and I just wanted to share it with anyone considering self cycling.
The DHEA made me feel somewhat short fused after about two months of it, but I read this is quite normal.  Upon stopping it, I felt back to myself immediately so there were not short term extended effects.

Here I was pre-op at ISIS

And post-op

Today, 10 days post op I am happy to say my swelling is gone and I feel great!

Sunday, July 15, 2012

Pregnant until proven otherwise!

Well, its official, we are pregnant til proven otherwise when Dr S does our beta near the end of July!!! Our transfer was on Thursday and to my surprise Dr Shivani said we had 4 top quality embryos and 4 average (8 total).  At my age I never expected to hear the words top quality!!

The travel home has taken a toll on me.  Dr Shivani is such a skilled surgeon and immediately after ER I felt good, as I did for the next 15 hours until I started my marathon flights home.  Fortunately Dr S gave me some good pain meds which I am actually taking, and also needing after carrying around chunk a munk Cailyn. 

Good luck to all my fellow cyclers - I hope to see all of you in March 2013!

Friday, July 13, 2012

Delhi-Munich-delay-London-DELAY, reroute Halifax- delay-Toronto

Holy moly!! Did we have a hell of a trip home! We left for Delhi airport around 6 am.  I was feeling a bit rough since it was just over 12 hours since being discharged from ISIS hospital.   Fortunately, the staff at Shervani hotel helped us with our bags, as Dr Shivani told me no heavy lifting at all!  Rahul picked us up and sped us off to the airport, and I when I say sped I mean it.  We travelled at speeds of 120-160km/hr!  It was a bit of a death trap drive, but we laughed all the way!  Delhi airport was easy, check in, security, wait then board.  Smooth sailing! The flight to Munich was easy, no issues.   Munich airport ended up switching gates on us, and the walking around the airport started to cause me pain, real horrible abdominal pain.  I managed to find a few seats in the airport to lay down, but it was not enough rest.  We boarded the plane in Munich, sat on the tarmac for 45 minutes then finally got up in the air..hmm...this delay was pushing it for our connection at London, but, lets not panic.  Finally we land at Heathrow.  We had to hustle to the shuttle buses to get to Terminal 3 as we landed in terminal 1.  Trying to walk at a speed to catch this plane became too much for me.  The pain and sheer exhaustion caught up with me.  As we boarded the shuttle bus, I had a melt down.  The pain was incredible and we we shoved into a bus, like sardines, I couldn't breathe, the pain was overwhelming and my temperature was soaring.  I was not feverish, just hormonally spiking. I melted down, having I guess what would be called a panic attack - not like me at all. After the shuttle bus we had to climb the emergency stairs to the plane, and my pain level continued to soar.  On the plain I loaded up on pain meds and calmed myself down.  After a few minutes I started to feel better, as best could be considering the circumstances.  I could not wait for this plane to get going, we we on the home stretch.  But of course, no...we sat there and sat there.  The pilot said there was a weather delay, then 1 hour later he said we were #22 in the cue to leave, then 1 hour later we started to reverse out of the gate, then we stopped.  Then 1 hour later the pilot said there was a mechanical issue and that the mechanic team was on its way, one hour later we saw the luggage trucks and shuttle buses arrive and 35 minutes later we were de-planing and getting onto the shuttle buses.  OMf'ingG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Almost 5 hours stuck on the plane with no action!!  We were told we would be rerouted to Halifax then shipped home to Toronto.  The shuttle buses carted us to gate 28 where we sat for another hour, then finally, we boarded the plane.  It was more than time for my pain meds again, way more than time!  Finally, we boarded and our captain welcomed us aboard.  Surprisingly the entire plane full of people were well behaved, and all going with the flow.  The senior steward had a great sense of humor and his announcements were quite entertaining as he mocked the last 6 hours.  We made it to Halifax and sat on the plane for about 1 hour as they refuelled and the new crew boarded.  Two hours later we landed at Pearson airport.   Thanks to Air Canada we waited 2 hours for our luggage - being the only flight at that time of day you would think our luggage would have come quickly!  Finally after almost 37 hours, we departed the airport and headed home. 
Travelling after egg retrieval can be a bit stressful to start with, but add on the crap we dealt with and I was done. My abdomen swollen and painful, bending and sitting difficult, but it did not matter at this point as I was home!!!  Marky picked us up at the airport with coffee in hand.  We dropped my sister off after this long journey and made our way home.  I was excited to see Cailyn!!!!  Baby girl was asleep when I got home, so I enjoyed my coffee and caught up with Mark and his mom. About one hour later Cailyn awoke and it took her a minute to figure me out.  She sat up, looked at me and eventually said Hi, waved then gave me a big hug.  Her hug melted my heart, and I was now really and officially home.
Dr Shivani gave us our initial results, which were pretty good.   12 eggs retrieved, 10 mature and 8 fertilized.  All very average looking embryos at this point!  I am thinking today is transfer day, but am feeling quite confused with what day is what!
Congrats to Kathy and Dave on your BABY GIRL!!!! Amy Claire is very lucky to have parents like Dave and Kathy!! Cannot wait to meet this little girl when you return to Canada.
My poor sister had a rough return home as she got very ill - we are thinking it was just pure exhaustion and the 37 hours of chaos catching up with her.  Hopefully today she feels much better!  I doubt I can convince her to do this travel with me again!
Ok,I am exhausted..time for a coffee and snuggles with Cailyn! 

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Last few days in Delhi

The last few days have gone by so quickly!! It is now 3am Delhi time, I am awake and soon to get ready to board a plane for the long trip home. 
Monday was a very big day for me as I had a documentary team come and film me.  The team arrived at 9:30 am and we had decided to do the filming on the roof top patio at the hotel, but sadly after about 40 minutes the threat of rain brought us into my room.  The documentary is intended to present the positive side of Surrogacy in India, with discussion from both IP's (like me) and surrogates.   All in all the interview was very very positive and I really hope I get to see the end result.  The documentary will take a long time to complete and we are optimistic that we will return in March for baby pick up and be able to film a conclusion to our story.

After the excitement of the shoot we decided to head to the SCI office so I could take care of one outstanding thing.  As we entered the lounge at the office I immediately recognized the man sitting there, it was Fredrik!!!  After catching up, he invited us to come back to his apartment for coffee and meet the twins!! We were really excited to meet the twins Selma and Alexander.  Fredrik and I started out in Mumbai together many years ago, so to finally meet was wonderful!

As you can see the twins are GORGEOUS!! Perfect little bundles to complete Fredrik and Roberts family.  Their two year old awaits the return of them back in Sweden.  We had a coffee and chatted about how improved the exit process now is and swapped stories. Meeting IP's makes for wonderful memories, and especially meeting people you have known via blogs and forums for a very long time.  Congrats Fredrik, Robert and Alwina on the twins!! A beautiful and very full family.
After our social visit with Fredrik we had dinner plans with the gang.  We met at Diva in M Block Market GK2.  A really nice Italian restaurant, a little pricey, but with good company it made no difference.  We were a large group!  Dave and Kath from Canada, a couple from Ireland, Leonie from Australia, Megan and Bob from Australia, Elland and Issac from Tel Aviv, Philip and Adam from UK/Aust who brought sweet baby Noah and of course my sister and I.   The food was good as was the company!  I think it is super important to connect with IP's when you are in Delhi - make dinner plans and spread the word! The memories you make with all these new people are everlasting!
I am waiting on a pic of our big group to share, but for now, here is a nice enough pic of Megan and I.

Next trip to Delhi will involve a trip to the plastic surgeon for my neck rolls!
Tuesday was egg retrieval day.  We decided to hit up Ashkradham temple in the morning with Kathy,  Rahul got us there and the place is huge!   No cameras were allowed so we ended up getting the cheesy professional posed shot!  As we walked the temples I mentioned to the girls that it was so perfect that it looked almost fake.  They were trying to convince me to enjoy the awe of how old the structure was and just how perfect the stone work was.  I didn't really buy into it, but, went along.  Well, sure enough, I was speaking with some gents here at the hotel for a conference who informed me that this marvel of a temple was actually constructed about 5 years ago!  They laughed at us even thinking it was built in the 1700's and also laughed at how it maybe now lost some of its mystic charm! 

Our cheesy shot in front of the temple!! Good memories!

A very impressive sprawling temple!

After the temple, we returned to the hotel to freshen up then grabbed a rickshaw to ISIS hospital.  The nurses at the hospital are amazing, very warm and caring.  I was checked in, filled in my consent, had my pulse, bp and weight done then we were ready to roll.  Dr Shivani came to my room quickly to say hi and wish me well.  Soon after I headed to the operating theatre where the very efficient team we in the midst of getting ready.  The anaesthesiologist was very kind in explaining what was being shot into my cannula, and soon Dr S entered.  We had a quick chat, then I was asleep.  Next thing I knew I was in my recovery room, struggling to open my eyes despite being alert.  I had some episodes of dizziness and nausea but overall my recovery went well.  Now, we await fertilization results, then transfer details, then beta!! The fun is officially ON!!
This has been a great trip to Delhi, despite missing Cailyn and Mark.  It has been fun to share this experience with my sister and hope that she enjoyed her time in Delhi and Agra~!

Sunday, July 8, 2012

Delhi Day 6

I had to let my sister try MacDonald's in India, it is kind of a fun thing to do. So, this morning we passed on the hotel breakfast buffet and walked over to Nehru Place Metro station area for a McD's breakfast. There was merely one person in line ahead of us, that's it, just the whole place.  We waited patiently behind this person and about 10 minutes later we were able to finally place our order.  It was a strangely long wait, but I guess the crew working there today could only manage one order at a time.  My sister asked for a cup of tea, and no, no tea was available.  Tea not available in India - sure seems strange. So, my sister ordered a diet coke, and again, not available, so under pressure she ordered a Fanta (yuck) and a bottle of Kinley water.  We were asked to take a seat and wait for our food.  A good ten minutes later some of our food was delivered to our table, I say some as the egg mcmuffin and bottle of water were still pending.  What a riot!! The food was good, typical McDonalds and the experience memorable.  As we finished up eating a man approached us and asked if we knew where a particular street was.  He was from France and backpacking around the world with his girlfriend.  My sister spoke French to them and I told her to tell them to come back to our hotel so they can use out Internet and phone.  They were very happy for our offer!  They have been gone from France for 3.5 months now having been to Italy, Turkey, Iran and Nepal.  They will be in India for one month then off to Thailand.  We were able to help them get where they needed to go and they were grateful for the help.
My belly is full, not of food but follicles.  I feel satisfied with carrying around my sack of potatoes belly, despite the fullness and being mildly uncomfortable. This is a good sign and one you hope to have at the end of an IVF cycle!  Since I am starting to feel this weight and fatigue that comes with it, my sister and I decided to have a pretty quiet day.  We both had a lunchtime snooze then headed off to N Block Market,   I NEVER shop in India, never, but I got totally suckered in today when it came to a few items for Cailyn. 
A blanket for Cailyn, sweet pink baby birds!

Bread and More cafe in N Block - amazing service and lots of great food to eat! Also is a bakery with fresh baked breads.

Shalom - where we ate dinner on Saturday night

Bread and More - YUM!

Cailyn is old school and likes Teletubbies - if we are ever in India with her we can get this cake for her!
A special outfit for Cailyns first birthday!
It is late and I have to do my trigger shot very early in the morning, YAY!! Last needle of this cycle, well besides the 18" needle Dr S will use to pierce each and every one of my follicles in both ovaries, methodically draining them of every ounce of fluid, looking for mature eggs, but that will be it, last needle!

Saturday, July 7, 2012

Delhi Day 5

Day 5 in Delhi meant I have  been on stims for 11 days and suppression drugs for 33 days, so needless to say I am feeling it!  My left ovary feels huge, especially when I pee.   In the morning of Day 5 in Delhi we went to Lotus temple via auto rickshaw.  The grounds of the temple are quite nice and the temple itself was as impressive as it was the first time I laid eyes on it.  It is a Baha'i faith temple, welcoming people of all religion's to enter for silent prayer and reflection. 
My sister doing her tourist pose

Our rickshaw driver Raju offered to stay with us and take us on to other destinations, so after our temple visit we headed to Delhi Haat.  Delhi Haat is a mid sized handicraft market located just minutes away from Lotus temple.  I was remembered by some of the staff there, and I quickly saw the boy who grabbed my boobs last year when I was trying on a Sari!  We ended up looking at Sari's to take home and my sister ended up buying one for herself and one for a gift.  I caved, having never purchase one after 6 trips to India.  I bought a beautiful Sari for Cailyn to have as she becomes a teenage girl.  The woman selling us the saris was 8 months pregnant and very excited and nervous about the upcoming birth.
Making myself comfotable on the sari display
Raju then took us to A1 Kailash Colony so I could have my scan.   I waited only a short time for Dr S and watched as the surrogates came through the doors, one after another having completed their own scans for lining check.  I looked at each girl to see if one was my surrogate, but I am sure mine were already in the van outside (I thought I saw them in the van as I got to the hospital).  Once Dr S was done with the surrogates it was my turn.  The sisters (nurses) asked me to pee then took me to the scan room.  I love the sisters at Dr Shivani's hospital, they are all so sweet and also tell me how adorable Cailyn is!  They recognize me from the pics of Mark,Cailyn and I that are included in the wall of fame at the front of the hospital.  Dr S came in and we were ready to roll.  My left side is indeed performing better than my right side, but nothing to stress about, just another few days of meds to ensure maximum egg maturity. Luckily I am able to see the end of needles in the next few days as I have my trigger shot in my fridge just waiting to be used!! The only worrisome bit is that my egg collection will be at 3pm and I will board a plane 17 hours later.  I know Dr Shivani will ensure I am fit to fly, but I wished I had a day to recoup before flying...not the case this time, so I will just have to deal with it.

My big juicy folicles
My sister and I ended up at YoChina for lunch and both had yummy sticky rice bowls!! Big time yummy!!
YoChina at M Block Market
I had to return to Dr Shivani's office at 5:30 pm to do my legal stuff and meet my surrogates.  As we sat in the lounge we met a couple from Tel Aviv and a second couple from  Kitchener Canada.  We invited them to join us at N Block market for dinner at Shalom (funny to invite two Israeli's to a restaurant named Shalom - food expectations for them may be higher than us). The boys from Tel Aviv came back after their meeting and confirmed the location for dinner, so we were pretty sure they were going to join us.  Soon I had to do my shots so I was given the OB's office to do this and as I was mixing my meds and mixing the next meds with the next one the lawyer walked in and after a two second convo her left me to finish.  I ended up with three needles and after slamming them into my fat rolls around my belly button we were then ready to continue on with the lawyer. I had soft copies of the contracts so I was able to review them in advance for correct spelling and dates.  The whole legal process was very easy this time, like doing anything for a second time.  Then, I met my surrogates.  Both my surrogates have names that start with the letter "S" and they were both beyond adorable.  SM #1 was just such a tiny girl and I felt like a giant towering over her.  She was excited to have been selected and ready to get this show on the road.  To me it is important that the SM's are excited and not too scared.  The whole process for them must be nerve wracking!  Then I met SM#2, who was somewhat bigger than SM#1.  She too was excited to get going and hoping that we have success.  Since these are my #9 and #10 surrogates in India, meeting them was not as emotional as in the past.  I know I cannot get attached to these women, and I will more than likely not see them again unless we have success and I see them after the birth.  For now, my surrogate meetings are quick, I am able to thank them for signing up and trying to help us grow our family.   I know they are medically fit as Dr Shivani has this process down to a science.  The meeting went well and then we were off to Shalom for dinner. 
Shalom is a nice place, has a very western feel, tunes cranked, dim lighting and reasonably prices.  About 15 months ago I had dinner with a couple who live quite close to me - they were trying to decide on clinics in India etc...and now, I sit with them here in Delhi as they await the arrival of their baby!!! So excited for them (I hope their baby comes while I am still here...but if not, I will see the baby at home in a few weeks)

My Canadian friends!!!!!!! I cannot wait for you to hold your baby!!!

I am using a small 9" net book for blog updates so I apologize for the spelling or word issues...I am also too lazy to try and reread what I wrote on this tiny screen...signs that after 40 you might need glasses!

Friday, July 6, 2012

Delhi Day 4

Before departing I had emailed a crew of people about having dinner on Thursday, and fortunately everyone was on board.  We ended up meeting at Ruby's in Nehru Place.  Rahul brought the van and carted down the Svelte crew of 7 people!  The boys from Spain/Denmark made their way over on a rickshaw and Megan and Bob came slightly later.  It was a great night full of positive energy, good food and drinks, and of course the company was wonderful.  Dave and Kathy from Canada were present and I was so happy to see them!  They are a wonderful couple here for baby pick up..come on baby, come and meet me before I leave!!!
As we gathered outside to make our way home all the beggar kids were there and wanted to play with  us.  I think they knew they were not getting money from us, so they started mocking us by repeating EVERYTHING we said to them!  As annoying as it was, it was equally cute.  These poor little filthy children break your heart, but the sensible side of you knows that giving money to them is most likely supporting crime rings or mafia. You really do wish you could pick them up and take them home with you.  This is the sad reality of India, one that is the norm, and difficult for westerners to understand. My sister and I were in a rickshaw coming home the other day and two boys were all over us as we were stopped at red light.  I gave the older boy a candy and in anger he chucked it at my sister!  We laughed at the craziness of this, as an 8 year old boy back home would not do this out of fear of repercussion.

Since Agra was a long trip for my sister we decided to have an easy Friday.  I had a coffee date in the morning with Poonam who had helped us with the exit process for Cailyn last year.  Poonam was kind enough to come to the hotel and we sat and caught up a bit.  I brought a stack of Cailyn photos and asked Poonam to select one for her office.  She enjoyed the photos and chose her favourite.  Poonam was so sweet to have also brought me a marble elephant statue for Cailyn!  Just meeting Poonam for coffee reminded me of how India/Delhi has become a home away from home.  I am comfortable her, I know where to go and how to get there, and I can have a casual coffee with someone I met almost a year ago.  Just love it!!

Similarly to feeling comfortable meeting Poonam, I also have my Aussie friend Kim!  Every trip to Delhi I have made  has allowed a meeting with Kim from Australia. Seems we are always here at the same time and have grown a wonderful friendship out of this.  Kim has 5 beautiful children, 3 of them born via surrogacy in India. Kim is a wonderfully kind and sensible woman whom I really enjoy having a cuppa with while gabbing about our kiddos, India and life in general.

Friday we headed to Saket for lunch with a woman here to self cycle from Australia.  She had landed at 5am and we met at 1:30pm.  We ate at Geoffry's pub in Select City Walk and it was a great time.  She is similar to me, positive and realistic about the process.  Her husband is due to fly in soon, after he actually gets a visa!  He travels for work and was not able to do the visa process at the same time as her, so he is on it now with intent to be here for egg collection.

The rest of Friday was quiet - we actually decided to have a lazy late afternoon and my sister and ended up each having a bit of a power nap.  Then, finally, the monsoons hot Delhi!! Thunder, lightening, massive winds and finally some rain!  We dealt with an evening of power outages and feel very fortunate that the hotel has back up generators!

Later in the day we firmed up surrogate choices with SCI legal.  We left it to the last minute to ensure our surrogates lining was optimal to start progesterone.  Saturday will bring another scan and blood test as well as a meeting with legal.  After all this excitement we are off to Shalom in N Block market to have dinner with 20+ IP's!

Delhi Day 3

Repeat after me, it is HOT here!! Ok, enough about the heat.

Today we hired Rahul's car to do some touristy stuff.  We started out to Lotus temple which was not yet open so we headed to Humyans Tombs.  I have been here before but wanted my sister to see this.  The tombs are incredible and to think that they ate that old and still standing is amazing!  We walked the tombs and the grounds until I felt my rubber soles melting.

Pretty Peacock just hanging out with us!

After this we headed to the Presidents House for, just for a quickie drive by.  Vehicles are not allowed to stop on the road in the surrounding area for the obvious security threats.  I personally enjoyed driving around and around it as we were in an air conditioned car and it gave me a chance to drop my temperature a bit.

After the tooling around the Presidents House we went to India Gate, again shoe soles were melting so we decided to just get some pictures and get back into the A/C!!

My sister kinda decided last minute to see if she could go to Agra to see Taj Mahal tonight, for sunset.  Rahul made it happen and she took off with the driver at 1:30pm, it is now 11:15 pm and they have not yet returned....Now,at almost two am she has returned!  She had a wild day, and I may ask her to write a guest post about it.

While my sister was at Agra I was at ISIS Hospital to meet Dr Shivani. My scan showed lots of follicles, but the growth was not maybe as good as we had wished for. I have decided not to stress about it and see what Saturdays scan brings!  I was fortunate to bump into a woman from Ireland at the hospital whom I had been chatting with previously in email.  We were able to catch up really quick and swap cycle stories.  It is always great to be in Delhi and meet up with the people you have emailed with or followed on blogs.

Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Delhi Day 2

Wednesday was another full day.  Again, HOT and humid!!!  Today is expected to be 53 Celsius, or 127 Fahrenheit - a nice comfortable heat!   There is much talk about when the monsoon rains will start, and rumor is that it will be today.  Locals in outlying areas of Delhi are very anxious for the rain as the lack of it is causing long power outages and hurting the farmers.  We will see if today brings the predicted early monsoon rains.

Wednesday started out with a trip to meet up with Megan, Bob, Toby and Mishali.  Finding where they were staying proved very difficult for not one, but two rickshaw drivers.  One dropped us off at a location with the same address but it turned out we were in the wrong district, so we flagged down a second rickshaw who did manage to get us there after alot of circling around, asking locals for directions and more driving in circles.  At one point he left his rickshaw with us as he headed off to find a reliable source of route info.  So..when your rickshaw driver is away, you play!

Our rickshaw drivers head
We finally arrived to meet the whole family, Toby greeted us with a two year olds energy and lack of fear of strangers.  This kid is adorable!!! You may have seen his picture on Megs blog, but in person he is even more gorgeous.  Then there is sweet Mishali.  She is cute cute cute, tiny (hard to believe Cailyn was this size) and what a well natured baby!!!  I have known Megan for a very long time as we started out in Mumbai together in 2008 so it was great to meet in person after all these years.  We had a great gab as my sister played nanny and playmate to mister Toby.  They ate mango, my sister washed up Toby's face, then his arms and feet as requested by Toby.  Sweet Mishali slept contently in her little bed and only required a feed as we were just leaving.  After a couple hours we headed out and made our way to M Block where my sister bought a Kurta and I bough milk for my coffee.  Of course we then headed to MOD (Mad over Donuts) and picked some up to bring back to the hotel. Since it was now after noon, it was extremely hot, and pounding the pavement caught up to me so we headed back to the hotel for a swim to cool off and grab a bite to eat.  After a few very relaxing hours we headed out to Dilli Haat.  Dilli Haat is an open air market with local hand crafts, and jewelry.  The sun was covered by the clouds at this time so the temperature was bearable and we enjoyed the market, even the overwhelming calls of "madam" as each vendor tried to get us to come by something, anything!

I forgot to mention that when we returned back to the hotel mid-day, my "boyfriend" had cleaned my room and left me another surprise!  My sister is starting to get really jealous!!!

Wednesday evening we had plans to have dinner with Kim and Bernadette.  A little confusion on the meeting info (my fault - my estrogen is high dammit!).  Anyway, we ended up seeing each other and it was great to see Kim.  I have been in Delhi three times and every time Kim happens to be here at the same time.  Since our dinner was a bit messed up, we plan to have coffee and dessert tonight to have a proper catc up.
Today we are off to do some site seeing with my bestest mate Rahul.  Rahul is just not my driver, he has become liek a brother to Mark and I.  We love Rahul and our time with him in Delhi!  Anywho.. off today to be tourists and see things like Red Fort and India Gate. I have a scan at noon so hopefully my follicles will be be at the 1.5 range, up from 1.3 on Tuesday. And speaking of follicles, I did my first shot with my new drugs ...not as bad as I anticipated just a lot of work to prepare!  Here is my mess after finally getting it taken care of...

I continue to miss Mark and Cailyn with a very heavy heart.  When I am busy here in Delhi it is easier, but the moment I stop I am sad to be without them.  It is almost too much for me to see Cailyn on skype..very difficult.  BUT I am here for the good so I am making the best of it, knowing all is ok at home and soon I will return to my loves and get back to the daily grind and loving them!
I think so far my sister is enjoying the trip and loving the experiences of Delhi. She plans to go to Agra and maybe even Jaipur if she can!!

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Delhi Day 1

Today was a busy and hot day.  The day started with a rickshaw ride to M Block market to change money.  The market is closed on Tuesday, but the money changer is open.  The heat is intense, even in the early morning, and the humidity is a killer!  Noon time took me to Dr Shivani for a scan.  I was excited to see pictures of our Cailyn in the reception area and the office!  My scan showed lots of follicles, in the 20's which is my age!  Based on what Dr S saw we changed my meds and upped the dose a bit to encourage follicle growth and egg maturity.  It was great to see Dr S again, feeling at home in her care.  We set out the rest of the weeks treatment plan and I will return on Thursday for another scan and blood work.  It was nice for my sister to meet Dr S and also see the ISIS hospital and staff.  After my medical appointment I brought my drugs on ice back to the hotel then we headed to Svelte to meet Bernadette and sweet baby Scarlett.  Scarlett is a little gem, cute as cute can be!  We had lunch and a gab with Bernadette and soon I started to feel tired so we headed back to Chirag Enclave, sort of - our taxi driver had no clue how to get to the hotel so we got him to stop as close as we could recognize and walked the rest of the way home.  The rest of the evening  was spent relaxing, eating and having a swim.  A great day overall!

The "boy" at the hotel remembered me from 2010, and at that time, I called him my boyfriend.  He was always in my room and enjoyed talking with me.  Seeing him earlier today he was quick to ask my room number.  When we returned from our outings, I found him in  my room making everything perfect and........putting rose petals on my bed! 

I skyped with Mark and Cailyn this evening and had a mini meltdown. It is very hard to see them as it makes me realize just how much I miss them.  Cailyn recognizes my voice which is wonderful!!!!!  I joke with Mark that it will all be worth it when we get 4 confirmed heartbeats HAHA!!!  I love those two more than I can explain or even manage emotionally!  I could go on and on about how hard it is to be away BUT I won't because I am here for the best reason possible and this is indeed  very positive trip and experience.  Having my sister here with me is wonderful, and sharing these days with her will be fondly remembered.

We decided to order room service and the first page of the menu has a small "lost in translation" that caught my eye...see if you can spot it..

Tomorrow we are off to meet Meg, Bob, Toby and their new BABY GIRL!  After this we plan to do some site seeing and shopping.  

Monday, July 2, 2012

Holy hotness!

Delhi is like an oven! I forgot just how hot and humid it is!  I am happy to be back here, feels like a second home now!  The flights were uneventful, luggage arrived safely, so there is nothing to complain about.
Leaving Mark and Cailyn was very difficult, VERY!!! I had to do it like removing a bandaid...quickly and abruptly!  I had two mini melt downs on the plane - especailly when I heard a little one about Cailyns age cooing and chatting.  I am lucky to have visited with Cailyn and Mark on skype after landing and Mark is keeping me up to date by the hour with loads of pics and videos! 
Delhi is like a second home for me.  I know where I am going, how to get there, who to call and how to navigate the chaos. There is an intoxicating feeling when in Delhi, one that breeds excitement in me.  Delhi has given us such a wonderful gift and being here again makes me feel comfortable and optimistic.  I am excited to see Dr Shivani in a couple of hours and get the welcome wand of internal viewing!  Seeing Dr S will be like seeing an old friend, and I really look forward to it. 
More, breakfast!

Thursday, June 28, 2012

23 days of needles...and I am worn out!

So, I started my down regulation on June 5th - yes, JUNE f'ing 5th! I have been on a high dose of superfact in effort to suppress my pituitary gland, thus, preventing ovulation. As of Tuesday, I added in another needle, yay!! I am officially on stims and very excited for this try! As much as I am melting down over leaving Cailyn and Mark, I am also very excited to get this show on the road, done with the needles! Tuesday's bloods showed two good things: 1. the removal of my cyst drove my E2 level down to normal and 2. my LH is good - so the suppression is working well. Of course the clinic here had a new u/s machine, tiny like a small laptop, and the medical devices sales rep was in the room for training while I was spread eagle! I wonder if HE does this frequently? Regardless of having a strange man staring at my goods, I have about 10 visible follicles, which is a good start before stims start.
Saturday I will go for my next blood and scan before departing for India!! I hope to see some good follicle growth - with the high dose of meds I am on (thanks Dr S!), I should see some good growth!

Friday, June 22, 2012

Cyst be gone!

My cyst is officially gone.  I arrived at the clinic at 7:30am, no food or drink for 12 hours prior.  I was very quickly checked in and one of the nurses put my IV in.  I was the second procedure that day, so I just had to enjoy my delicious saline drip and wait.  Thank god for iPhone - I was able to catch up on blogs and email.  Just before 9am I was asked to pee then headed to the OR.  Dr Casper was there waiting for me, and after some nurse confusion as to where the cyst was, Dr C asked "me" where it was and we were ready to roll.  I dreaded this procedure as I knew I would be awake for it and it might just hurt, alot!   Dr C froze my necessary entry bits then within seconds I saw my largish cyst on the ultrasound screen.  Dr C said take a deep breath, then poke...the 18inch need had pierced the cyst membrane and he started to withdraw the fluid.  The whole procedure took less than a minute, and surprisingly the pain was minimal!  Good job Dr C!  The rest of the day was a write off, just exhausted and a small amount of cramping, otherwise good.  Hopefully my next blood work will show lowered E2 levels.  Wish me luck!
Despite my emotional anxiety of leaving Cailyn and Mark, I am really looking forward to going to Delhi and meeting up with some people.  I am sad, yet happy that Bernadette will still be in India.  Sadly her boy is still playing games with his health so it looks like I will actually meet them.

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

The good, the bad and the ugly.

Went for my baseline scan and bloods.  The Good: my uterus looks great, three lines clearly visible and some little follies were visible!  The Bad: I have a 2.7x1.7 cm cyst.  The UGLY:  The cyst must be drained asap!
My bloods showed elevated E2 so, this combined with the juicy cyst had both the clinic here and Dr Shivani asking to have the cyst aspirated asap.  It seems a cyst can be called "functional" which can mess with your hormones, thus, driving up my estrogen. 
As of very early this morning my nurse at the clinic has made the arrangements & as of Thursday early morning I will be cyst free! 

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Week one of meds ...

Meds are going well.  I have just finished the Provera and will continue with the suppression injections til egg retrieval.  The suppression meds make my legs ache at higher doses - always have - so I emailed Dr Shivani about this, and in her typical efficient and super quick response time she responded with her medical opinion! Gotta love Dr S - she is just the best at communicating and I often wonder if she ever sleeps?!?!  Due to the higher dose of suppression meds it looks like I will need to grab a second bottle in the next few days or so and am having a hard time getting hold of the fert. clinic here, but I haven't tried really hard - tomorrow...procrastinate procrastinate!   June 19th is the the day Dr Shivani wants me to go for baseline bloods and ultrasounds.  I am always anxious before the first bloods and u/s of a cycle as I dread any bad news that could cancel a cycle or make it a challenging cycle.  Fingers crossed all goes well on the 19th.  I am looking forward to meeting some new people in Delhi and also connecting with some friends who will be there for baby pick up. Hoping I will get to meet Megan after 4 years of knowing each other by email and the Internet!  Megan and I started out on the surrogacy journey around the same time and have become comrades in the field of IVF and surrogacy.  I secretly hope Mandy's baby comes a little early (healthy early) so I can meet Mandy and her hubby.  Not too early ok..just a week or 10 days!  Other than this, I have plans to meet up with Aussies (Kim), Canadians (Kathy and David), Irish (Elaine) & Swiss/Canadians (Teresa).  Not sure how I will fit in an egg retrieval with all the socializing!  Sadly, I know my emotional state departing Canada will be frayed as I am leaving behind Mark and Cailyn.  I dread saying goodbye to them both, but know this is a small sacrifice to make to potentially give Cailyn a sibling.  Visa apps are in and will be picked up later this week, flights are booked and so is the hotel.  All is falling into place, and hopefully we will have success!

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Needles and pills!

Yesterday I received my treatment schedule from Dr Shivani and to my surprise, I had to start my treatment yesterday!  I packed up Cailyn and drove 45 minutes north to a newly found IVF pharmacy with scripts in hand.  My scripts were filled very quickly and the pharmacists, having done IVF herself, and now offering meds at 2% above wholesale, offered me best wishes for a successful cycle.  I struggled with timing my meds - if I do them in the morning here, it will be the evening in Delhi and vice verse.  I am not sure I could wake up in Delhi on time, so I opted to do them at 9 am my time, 6:30pm Delhi time.   I did however take the provera tablet and withing 3 hours had menopausal hot flashes accompanied by mild sweats - OH YAY! gotta love hormones!! So, I will be on a down regulation (needles) from now until mid July, similar to how I cycled for Cailyn.  I will start stims around the 26th of June and fly to Delhi shortly after.

Monday, May 28, 2012


Today I was so excited to receive my order from  The service was super quick and friendly, but sadly, two of my vials were damaged.  Upon calling the company they were more than happy to replace them ASAP!  Despite the damage, I highly recommend this company based on their service and pricing!

Welcome to our second journey

After 8 attempts for baby number one, we are anxious to get started on baby #2!  Plans are in the works for the first week of July visit to Dr Shivani, where I will once again spread eagle on a surgical table in New Delhi.  Why a second blog you ask?  Well, I am trying to keep this try on the down low as it could affect my return to work treatment, or not, but why risk it.  I will not be posting anything about try number 2 on our original blog as there is a possibility that some of my work mates may read it, thus, a second blog. 
This trip will be very different.  We had planned to all go to Delhi then the lack of Cailyn's citizenship made it impossible for her to go.  So, we move to plan B.  Plan B is a more stressful option for me as it means leaving both Mark and Cailyn home as I travel solo.  Fortunately Mark left a sample with Dr Shivani a while back so his part is already covered off.   I will be very sad and heartbroken to leave both of them...I worry how Cailyn will be without her mommy??  I dread that she finds it difficult, yet, I have a wonderful peace knowing that she will be with her daddy 24/7 while I am away.  
Why so soon you ask?  Well, I am not a young woman nor are my eggs.  If we want a genetic sibling for Cailyn we need to try now, and the latest AMH results have made this evidently clear!  Secondly, we do not want Cailyn to be an only child, and as it is now, she will not have any 1st cousins so she would be alone.  We are 100% confident in what we are doing, just following through on it will be difficult.
As of last week, I now have a travel companion, my sister!  I am excited to have her come along with me and revisit the "newness" of India through her eyes.  We will do the tourist stuff together and try to not get heat stroke as I understand it will be extremely hot.  As Dr Shivani said to me "Oh, you are coming to roast in Delhi".